It’s only natural for a pending retirement to bring a mix of emotions, whether it’s excitement, anticipation, worry, fear, or anxiety. What’s more, if you’re trying to envision how retirement looks like with a partner, these emotions can easily compound.
In our coaching practice at Metamorphosis CCT, we frequently see couples who have vastly different ideas of retirement from one another.
If that’s your situation, it begs the question of how to have productive conversations about this important time in your lives. And, how do you ultimately align with what you each want so you have an extraordinary life and retirement together?
Here are four ways to get you started:
- Set a time where you can both talk about the topic of retirement. Put it on the calendar to ensure it happens. Many people have good intentions to have conversations and to plan together, but those intentions don’t get us too far if we don’t put them into action. Make sure you eliminate distractions, and you meet in a space or place that makes you both feel safe and connected. You could even consider going to a favorite spot that inspires you both.
- Establish some basic ground rules for the discussion. The first of those rules is to agree to listen fully to one another without judgement. For example, if you partner talks about how they plan to golf every day and all-day, but you hate golf — don’t get defensive or start to question things. Just listen. Each partner gets to share what their ultimate retirement would look like. Then let it marinate. You don’t need to solve the world’s problems, interrogate one another, or try to figure out what things will look like, or how each of you plans to do x, y, or z. Step one is to just listen. You can each take some notes if that is your style, but the whole first meeting is to just get it out on the table what you envision doing. You will have other conversations, but this first one if you haven’t had any big discussions is to just explore what the other would like to do. At the end each of you can ask yourself – How does it feel to truly just listen to what my partner desires?
- Recognize that achieving alignment is an ongoing process. As you process each of your desires realize alignment in retirement doesn’t happen overnight. Also, know you can be aligned in retirement and like to do different things. In fact, some of the best relationships honor each other’s differences while coming together for the things you love to do together. That brings us to our next point…
- Make a list of the things you like to do together. Do you love to travel? Do you enjoy hiking or biking? Or are you more the type that enjoys silence and reading? There are NO rules. You get to create your list and what you enjoy doing together. Is there a favorite hobby you both love, but it has been put on the back burner because of work, life and family? Put it on the list.
Pulling it all together
Remember, planning for retirement is a process. It takes time and patience, especially when you are planning for two, and merging many of your life’s desires together. Each partner needs to be willing to be flexible. While there may be some give and take, depending on your time and financial situation, most agree it’s worth it to be able to live a happy and harmonious retirement together.
If you struggle to have these conversations, or you don’t know where to start, this is where MPPL Financial, and the coaches at Metamorphosis CCT can come in to help. Our Dream. Plan. Retire program is specifically designed to provide couples with the clarity and confident to successfully embark on a retirement that aligns with their shared goals, values, and aspirations. You can learn more about our program by clicking here.
Investment Advisory Services offered through Midwest Professional Planners, Ltd. (“MPPL”), 2610 Stewart Ave., Ste. 100, Wausau, WI 54401, 1-800-236-6775, an SEC-registered investment advisor. Certain representatives of MPPL are also registered representatives of and offer securities products involving commission or transaction-based fees through APW Capital, Inc., 100 Enterprise Drive, Suite 504, Rockaway, NJ 07866, 1-800-637-3211. Member FINRA/SIPC/MSRB. MPPL is independent of APW Capital, Inc. Registration with the SEC or State Regulatory Authority does not imply a certain level of skill or expertise. Dream.Plan.Retire. is a proprietary program built and delivered in coordination with Metamorphosis Coaching, Consulting and Training (Metamorphosis CCT). MPPL is independent and separate of Metamorphosis CCT.